Turmoil

 

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Twisted thoughts ravage the inner landscape of my mind and appear like gnarly old trees along the banks of a raging river. Tendrils of emotion fall like raindrops collected on the forest canopy cascading downward with gravitys pull. Icy cold roots reach deep into the earth searching for warmth in the form of peace.

This sensation of this turmoil is pure confusion, a lost and wandering mind caught up in a moment of uncertainty. The future looks bright and the past has already passed yet the now of here that is spins between them. A figure 8 of sorts weaving a web as it occilates around the center of okay then back to good and then to bad. Understanding, comprehending or even explaining the waves of inner disconnect seem futile. What have I done to find myself feeling this way?

Nothing is that bad yet my eyes are suddenly puffy and red. My purple shirt has wet salty droplets as I gaze out the sheer curtains at the pastel sky from the sun setting. Soon the moon will rise and the night will sparkle above with stars and below with frosty ice crystals. The day will fade away and the sun will rise again tomorrow with a new day- of this I am certain and find comfort in this. Yet I am still disconcerted with what has caused my inner world to become so turbulent and can’t help but wonder how long it will last.

Maybe I just need some more sleep or does it have something to do with all those vivid dreams I had last night? Maybe I just need some more food after having eaten a lot yesterday and not enough today? Or maybe it’s just something so simple it’s silly I haven’t figured it out yet? Maybe I just have to change my mind and the rest will follow. Life is good… really good, I’m so thankful for all the wonderful things in my life. The future holds so much potential it’s truly beautiful to imagine. Maybe this emotional disturbance is the final letting go of the last bit of whatever I was holding on to from the past, the final goodbye to what was? I can only hope.

Moving on…

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